Neurodivergence informed and affirming relationship therapy
Tools to regulate, communicate, and feel truly seen in your relationship
Based in Olympia, serving all of Washington.
Does it ever feel like you and your partner are speaking completely different languages?
Whether you’ve known you were neurodivergent since childhood or discovered it later in life, the way your brain processes information shapes so much of how you communicate.
This is true for everyone—but when neurodivergence is in the mix, it can turn the volume up on communication challenges. You might have a different neurotype than your partner, or share the same diagnosis but experience it in completely different ways.
You might use the same words but mean very different things. You might have communication styles where one partner uses hyperbole and emphasizing to make their points and another partner takes words at their most literal. You might have different needs during conflict, with one person needing to solve it as soon as possible and the other needing frequent breaks to regulate. One or more of you might completely shut down when conflict arises and be unable to stay in the conversation long enough to come to any kind of resolution.
All of this can leave you feeling frustrated, unseen, and disconnected in your relationship.
Traditional couples therapy teaches basic communication skills—but too often, those skills are grounded in neurotypical assumptions.
In therapy with me, we’ll begin by understanding how you communicate. What happens when you try to express yourself? What assumptions are you and your partner making about each other?
By exploring your individual communication styles, we’ll identify where the breakdowns are happening and develop tools that help you actually hear and understand each other.
We’ll also focus on regulation—so you can stay grounded when conversations get tough. When both partners feel safe, seen, and understood, even conflict can become a pathway to deeper connection.
Neurodivergence-informed couples therapy can help you
Communicate what you’re actually trying to say
Share your perspective in a way your partner can truly hear
Learn what you need to feel safe in tough conversations
Create more empathy and acceptance in your relationship
Deepen intimacy and connection
Let’s discover the unique language your relationship speaks and help you reconnect with the closeness you deserve.
FAQs: Neurodivergent Couples Therapy
Q: Do both partners need to be neurodivergent for this therapy to be a good fit?
Nope. This work is valuable whether one or both partners are neurodivergent. What's most important is that you're open to exploring how your brain styles impact communication—and willing to try new strategies together.
Q: What if we’ve already tried couples therapy and it didn’t help?
That’s actually very common. Many traditional models assume a neurotypical baseline for things like communication, conflict, and emotional regulation. This approach is different. We’ll start by looking at how you process and express information—so we can build tools that work for your brains, not against them.
Q: Will you help us with specific arguments or recurring issues?
Absolutely. We’ll address both the specific situations that cause tension and the bigger patterns underneath. Often, those same recurring arguments point to underlying misattunements or regulation challenges we can work on together.
Q: Do we need a formal diagnosis to work with you?
Not at all. Some clients come in with formal ADHD or autism diagnoses. Others suspect they may be neurodivergent or just know that traditional couples therapy hasn’t fit. You’re welcome here either way.
Q: Can you help with parenting conflicts or co-regulation with kids?
Yes—if those challenges are part of what’s creating stress in your relationship, we can absolutely include them in our work. Neurodivergence can shape how each partner approaches parenting, discipline, sensory overload, and more.